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Author Topic: Discouraged and disheartened cure  (Read 6228 times)

Leana

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Reply #30 on: August 24, 2012, 03:32:44 AM
 :1hug: to you Honeysuckle...not the nicest place to be...been there too on more than one occasion.  When one of my friends go through a difficult or dark time...I always tell them that the tunnel is dark...but there is always a friend that comes along with a spotlight, sometimes a torch...and on odd occasions a candle-it's light might be weak compared to the spotlight, but it's there and you know that you are not alone... to help you get through the tunnel into the light...and this is what I am telling you too now  ;)....we are here for you... we might not have a spotlight...but we certainly have a candle  :)

Besides  :pray: ...I find what helps calming my mind when it feels like havoc (negative or down) as well... is to practice wordlessness...you can do it anywhere, anytime... it is to empty your mind completely...no words exists...almost like day dreaming and I suppose some form of meditation. You don't even have to close your eyes... one of the simplest forms of this is to focus your eyes on a particular object... then without moving your eyes... take in all the visual surroundings (peripheral vision), what can you all see without moving your eyes from the focal subject... then bring the background to the foreground...and then back again (you will find...words don't exist)... another option is to find something really beautiful in nature...like a flower, mountain etc...focus on that... the beauty of it all...then what smells can you notice...could be the fragrance of the flower...or freshly cut grass in the next door neighbours garden...or the smell of freshly baked biscuits...and what sounds do you hear... perhaps birds, cars, people walking etc etc... 

Keeping you in my   :pray:

 :flowers:
Leana

"Good art is a form of Prayer.  It's a way to say what is not sayable." ~ Frederich Busch

"Art is not just ornamental, an enhancement of life, but a path in itself, a way out of the predictable and conventional, a map to selfdiscovery." ~ Gabrielle Roth


Lillian

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Reply #31 on: August 24, 2012, 04:17:59 PM
Honeysuckle and Leana, two of the nicest, sweetest people on Paintbasket.

 :pray: -ing for you now.   :flowers:   :hug:  You are both loved and admired.
"The way to be happy," said Winston Churchill, "is to find something that requires the kind of perfection that's impossible to achieve and spend the rest of your life trying to achieve it."


Tony (ASM)

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Reply #32 on: August 24, 2012, 09:31:19 PM
Nice words there Lillian  :clap: 
I just hope things improve for people. We're like a family on Paint Baket. Its such a shame were not all in same country 'cos we could meet for a big  :hug:
''Don't spend life going forward in reverse, just glimpse the rear view mirror now and again then, focus on what lays ahead''.
(Tony. ASM 3rd July 2013)


C.Bodine

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Reply #33 on: August 25, 2012, 09:15:57 AM
Honeysuckle, it sounds like you have a tremendous amount on your plate! My heart goes out to you.   :flowers: Having to care for a loved one is challenging in itself, but having to do it while not in the best of health makes it more difficult! You have my admiration for not only your persistence with your art, but your selflessness in taking care of your husband! :1hug:
Christina


Honeysuckle73

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Reply #34 on: September 01, 2012, 04:15:24 PM
Hello again. I can not believe all the wonderful people on this forum. YOU ALL ARE THE GREATEST !! I am still plugging along.

 I am trying to get my husbands son to take him to his home in CA for a week and give me a break, but it does not look like that is going to happen. They do not even call to see how he is doing and do not want me to remind them.   My husband goes to the VA for his medical needs and they do not help with the day to day living problems. I thought they might help me put him into daycare sometime but they do not do that and don't supply home health care.  Today I have had a time getting him to take a shower. My son is really doing a lot to help me out and he works about 60 hours a week and has his own home and all to keep up with.

 Anyway I am keeping on.  As for the art. I have been looking at a picture of a dog and drawing it the same way I did the horse.  I got the book "Drawing for dummies" and tried to draw the way they say, No Way.  I did the blocks and circles and triangles and nothing ever looked like a dog. I guess my way of drawing is just not the normal way, but it works my way and it easier than having to have books and all in the bed with me.

I am also trying to do some watercolor. I watch Dennis lessons and have watched a couple of old dvds I had on wc.  I will go online and order me some good wc paper and paints pretty soon.

I can't thank you all enough for all your kind thoughts and words. I need to get on here more often.  What a Family you all are.  THANK YOU
Live Life to the Max


Rkymtnmary

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Reply #35 on: September 01, 2012, 04:37:40 PM
SO glad to hear from you, Honey.

The VA system is very difficult to navigate, especially now with their limited resources.  Some do offer a home health care benefit but not all and it sounds like yours doesn't.  However, generally speaking, even though he does have the VA as primary, he should still be eligible for home health care under Medicare which I'm making a leap to assume he has.  It's up to the VA and the agency to figure out who the payer will be.  If he does have Medicare,  what needs to happen is his primary doctor needs to make a referral to an independent home health agency...they will send out an RN to make an assessment and any good RN will immediately see a skill that is "reasonable and necessary" and develop a plan of care that should absolutely include one of the home health care agencies social workers.  They are the ones who will help find an answer to your respite and other needs.  If you'd like to write to me privately, please feel free to do so.  I'd be more than happy to help you figure out the steps needed.

Meanwhile, please take care of you, ok?  Keeping you in my prayers.   :1hug:  :flowers:


Lillian

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Reply #36 on: September 01, 2012, 04:44:20 PM
 :wave: Hi Honey  :hug:

It's so great to hear from you!  Thanks for the update.  I know there are many others here in the family who have been wondering how you're getting along.

What a tragedy it is that there is no help for a veteran and his family!  Perhaps you should reach for the top and write to your Senator!  It sounds like you really need a break!

How I wish I could be of help!

I like that you are still able to get in some drawing and have plans to do some watercolor painting as well.  If you're anything like me, I get so involved that I forget anything that bothers me.  I forget what day it is sometimes.  Last week I even thought I had missed the watercolor class.  I thought it was Sunday and it was Saturday.   :2funny:

The forum is growing steadily and very active, lots of new members here and lots of enthusiasm.  :yippee:

Please stop by whenever you and if possible show us what you've been doing.   :1hug: :1hug: :1hug:





"The way to be happy," said Winston Churchill, "is to find something that requires the kind of perfection that's impossible to achieve and spend the rest of your life trying to achieve it."


Lillian

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Reply #37 on: September 01, 2012, 04:47:33 PM
 :thankyou: Mary for that ray of hope.  Honey, you remain in my prayers as well. 
"The way to be happy," said Winston Churchill, "is to find something that requires the kind of perfection that's impossible to achieve and spend the rest of your life trying to achieve it."


polliwag

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Reply #38 on: September 01, 2012, 07:31:35 PM
Honeysuckle, so sorry about your situation.  Maybe you can get help with Home Health Care as Mary suggested.  Just take one day at a time.  Take advantage of all the help that is available for your husband.  They do have people that will come to your home and help with bathing, etc. as well as other things.  I can't remember all the services they provide, but they are very helpful.  Keep you head up and remember that you are in our prayers and God will provide a way out of any burden that is too heavy to bear.  I am so glad you are finding a little time for your drawing and painting.  Take care..
Dianne

"If you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change."
               Wayne Dyer


Leana

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Reply #39 on: September 01, 2012, 11:41:39 PM
Honeysuckle ~ lovely hearing from you.  Great to hear you are able to do some drawing in your schedule...having a little 'me' time is good...and that does give your mind a little break...which is super! Thank you for the update... I also think great advice has been given by Mary and worth looking into.  Keep strong, we are here for you and please look after yourself.   :hug:  :flowers:

Awww  :blush: Lillian...a huge  :hug: to you... I think there are so many sweet people here on PB (and that includes you  ;))...if we were literally sweeties...we would certainly fill a huge bag  :2funny:

Tony ~ You certainly hit the nail right on the head with this
We're like a family on Paint Baket.


Leana

"Good art is a form of Prayer.  It's a way to say what is not sayable." ~ Frederich Busch

"Art is not just ornamental, an enhancement of life, but a path in itself, a way out of the predictable and conventional, a map to selfdiscovery." ~ Gabrielle Roth


Lillian

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Reply #40 on: September 02, 2012, 05:30:01 AM
Leana  :blush:  I am humbled!   :hug:

I actually hit rock bottom in one period of my life when I thought my life would soon be over.

I truly believe my Maker brought me through these times so I can give encouragement and empathize with others who are "Discouraged and Disheartened" as is the title of this thread. 

Little did I know that I would have so many opportunities to do just that, this wonderful forum being one of them.

I'm not fit to be a role model in this way by any means, I'm on a journey, just as I am with learning to draw and paint.  I fail many times but I'm learning by trial and error. 

"The way to be happy," said Winston Churchill, "is to find something that requires the kind of perfection that's impossible to achieve and spend the rest of your life trying to achieve it."


jennylynn

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Reply #41 on: September 02, 2012, 07:37:08 AM
Honeysuckle so glad for the update and to know how you are.  mary has given good advice. How sad that all the pb family are spread far and wide, so we cannot help you physically, BUT  we are here for you in every other way!!  you must have a DIAMOND of a son,  how sad though that your husbands family won't help, they should be aSHAMED of theirselves! but it's like the old saying " what comes round goes round".  We have missed you terribly on here and you are always in our thoughts, it's nice to see that you have had a little ME time as regards drawing and a little painting.  Try and keep your spirits up and let us know, when you can, how you are.   :hug:  :flowers:
jennylynn


ncwren

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Reply #42 on: September 02, 2012, 10:56:24 AM
What everyone else has said!  :1hug:
~Natalie

Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already. ~Dave Willis


Honeysuckle73

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Reply #43 on: September 08, 2012, 10:33:30 AM
Here I am again guys. PAINT BASKET IS THE BEST FAMILY!  I am doing better both physically and mentally.  I finally had a talk with myself and realized how weak I was being. I am still alive and that is so much better than the alternative. 

I have been TAKING and I do mean taking some time for me.  I can spend some minutes sitting upright and then standing and decided to use that time on Art.  I can't do much at a time, BUT, I CAN do some and that is great.  I really was expecting way too much of myself and now I relax and just do what I can and I really do enjoy myself for a little while. It really helps. 

My son (love his heart) took my husband to Walmart on Sunday and just let him wonder around, He would give him a list of 2 or 3 items and let him take his time finding them, then he would do it again. Worked good he said.  It really gave me time to think and ponder and relax. Maybe I will do the same thing with him, I will ride my chair and let him pick up the items.  Will try that. I am really trying to hide my frustration with him, I know it will only make him worse.

Nolan, I painted the tulip this week, just have to do the waterdrops next.  It is not real good as far as art goes, but it is really great as mental pain killer.

Dennis, same thing watercolor, did the dramatic clouds and oh how terrible the art was, but I really had a good laugh at myself. Haven't laughed in a while.

Anyway you guys, all of you, you are really great!!!  Each and everyone of you. I have dug myself out of my pity hole, gave myself a good talking to and am doing better. Will just take care of each thing as it comes up.

Well thats enough of sitting.  Will be on again when I can.
Live Life to the Max


jennylynn

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Reply #44 on: September 08, 2012, 10:49:15 AM
honeysuckle so good to hear from you, glad that you are having some ME time,  and no you are not weak!!  alright so you can't do much with your art but at least your trying and having a go and enjoying yourself by the sound of it.  I t was good to ear that your son has taken your husband out, it certainly seems to have helped, not only him, but you too. I know it must be very frustrating for you my husbands aunt had alzeimhers and she could get violent at times, and of course not knowing who  you are, was very upsetting as well.  But I know that you have great spirit and will not let it get you down, at leasst, like you said art is a great mental healer!!   look after yourself and when you can come back to the forum we will be waitng for you.   Take care  :flowers: :1hug: :1hug:
jennylynn


 

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